Tag Archives: who to invite

Guests Wedding Etiquette

The Guest List: Family.

Photo credit: Urban Grey Photography via Wedding House

In this city where traditions are mostly kept and families are usually tight-knit, it’s no wonder why you see big groups of relatives gathering around for a family reunion dinner on Sunday nights. So when it comes to a family member tying the knot, the same applies. Suddenly, you discover you’ve got relatives you never knew existed: your Mum’s cousin’s children and you’ve been told by your parents to invite them. You’re now stuck with the daunting task of striking some of those twice-removed relatives off your guest list because honestly, unless you’re close, you shouldn’t be obliged to send them an invitation. You hardly see them, if at all, but how do you explain to your dear parents? It’s their proudest moment and they want to announce it to the whole world, so be tactical.

  • Play the budget card. The more distant relatives they invite, the higher the costs and if your Dad is forking out the moolah, he should understand.
  • Insist on intimacy. You want a small wedding and you only want those closest to you to be invited.
  • Tell them this is YOUR wedding, not theirs. Sometimes, it’s difficult to be harsh with family (and no way am I condoning this behaviour) but you’ve got to stick to your guns and tell them the truth.
  • If all fails, tell them you will budge by allowing your parents to host a separate family dinner.
  • Tell them you love them. That’ll buy you some brownie points.
Bride Groom Guests Wedding Etiquette Wedding Venues

The Guest List: Friends.

Photo credits (from left): 1 Wedding Source, Candice K Photography

The Guest List. The dreaded task on every couple’s to-do-list. The unavoidable. No matter how well you think it’s been thought out, no matter how hard you’ve tried to be the gracious couple, you’re bound to have offended at least one person. Remember, this is your wedding, not theirs so don’t feel obliged to invite a guest just because you feel bad. This is not the time to act like you’re best friends with the whole world nor is it a popularity contest. The day is your most private, most personal, most touching and happiest point in your life. Spend it with those you care.

How to draw up your list:
1. List all your friends and categorise them into Tier 1, 2, 3 and so forth.
a) Tier 1 = those you’d meet up frequently (bumping into each other in a bar and saying a courteous ‘Hi’ doesn’t count), your best friends (even if you don’t see them all the time), you’d confide in, who’d you inform whenever you have news (good or bad) and you’d do anything for.
b) Tier 2 = those you may have been close to but for whatever reason you only see once in a while and those you’d have a good laugh with when you do meet up.
c) Tier 3 down = Facebook friends, ones you don’t even know why you’re friends with in the first place and if they’d invited you to their wedding, you’d think twice about.
2. Do not invite acquaintances. They’ll feel obliged to give you a present even if they don’t attend and you don’t even bat an eyelid as to whether they turn up or not so why bother?
3. The more people your invite, the more mouths to feed which means your wedding bill will inflate. It’s also more stressful coordinating hundreds of guests so keep it small. Unless you’re a Kim Kardashian, the celebrations should be an intimate affair.
4. Invite those in your Tier 1 category and depending on your venue size, wedding budget and how important you feel Tier 2 guests are to you, you can invite them as well.
5. It’s a matter of politeness to invite +1s and that applies even if you don’t like your best friend’s boyfriend. When it comes to the photos, you can photoshop him out.
6. Make it a balance between the bride and groom. If one side has a significantly larger party, the other is going to complain and get jealous. Talk it through. The last thing you want is to start off your marriage with ill feelings.